Find Your Motivator
Motivational speeches hit different for everyone. Some people get fired up by Tony Robbins. Others feel something when Al Pacino delivers that “Inch by Inch” speech in Any Given Sunday. The key isn’t that one style is better — it’s that different things unlock different people.
This is especially true (and important) for young athletes.
Most kids don’t consciously know what truly motivates them. They just feel it — or don’t. Many only figure it out years later, sometimes after their playing days are over. As a coach and father, I’ve learned that helping them discover it early can be transformative.
I was a vengeance-motivated player. I practiced and competed with a massive chip on my shoulder. That was my fuel. It wasn’t pretty, but it worked for me.
After years of coaching and raising four boys, I’ve seen that motivation is highly individual. There is almost always something that lights a kid up — but it’s rarely the same as what motivates their parent or coach.
We help players when we listen closely, learn, and serve as a translator instead of a coach. And, keep in mind, I use the idea of a professional translator here because it reminds us to keep our ego out of what’s happening between the player’s ears.
Real Examples
I once worked with an 8-year-old who wasn’t swinging aggressively. I tried tapping into anger and “getting back at” opponents. Nothing. Then I asked if he loved getting hits for his teammates. His eyes lit up. The moment I told him to “attack the ball for your team,” his swing became violent and free.
My eldest son has beautiful athletic movements but used to lack ferocity. He would nod when I talked about playing with a chip on his shoulder, but it never quite landed. Turns out, he’s a hunter at heart. He loves watching lefty pitchers like Ranger Suarez and Christopher Sanchez. Once we framed his approach as a hunter stalking his prey, something clicked. The aggression appeared naturally.
I’ve worked with a few ADHD-diagnosed kids and noticed that rather than focus on eschewing their miscues, they are motivated by encouragement toward the task at hand. Signal what you’re interested in, encourage when they follow that lead, silently disregard them when they get off track, and be a little patient. In a short time, they’re moving in the right direction. They are simply motivated by your interest in and attention to them.
There are countless motivators: love of the game, proving doubters wrong, joy of mastery, team loyalty, etc. The important thing is finding the one that’s authentic to the child.
This isn’t just feel-good coaching talk. Research in sport psychology, particularly Self-Determination Theory, shows that when athletes connect with intrinsic motivation (motivation that comes from within rather than external pressure), they show better persistence, higher effort, and improved long-term performance.
The challenge is that many kids are trying to borrow someone else’s motivation — usually a parent’s or coach’s. That rarely works well.
My commitment as a coach is simple: I will help your child discover what actually drives them. Because once that switch flips, everything changes.