The Cruel Tutelage of Bai Bal
Every level of baseball loses people. A rule of thumb: after age 12, every year is last year’s All Star team. And, rarely, is the rule broken that if you’re significantly behind one year that you’ll be an All Star the next.
That said, it’s not impossible. I did it — cut from JV as a sophomore, then became a varsity All-Star and earned a Division I scholarship.
There are a few scenarios worth considering in the baseball landscape, where a coach’s job is guiding a player through inevitable adversity:
Kid is advanced early and stays advanced through puberty because of phsyical growth and athleticism. This is a low adversity child who, for teaching purposes, needs to get the hard truth that literally everyone faces adversity. Parental support is key; i.e. if the parent is not okay with a coach introducing adversity—whether overtly or behind the scenes—then the money spent on coaching is a waste.
Kid was advanced and is motivated but has started to lag behind. This is a child who is having his dreams challenged for the first time. If he still wants to play, then it is the coach’s job to be real but encourage and provide substantive guidance. This is, in many ways, ideal. The coach has some real work to do and the actual challenge is front-and-center for all to see.
Kid has never experienced success but spends countless hours trying on his own. This is the easiest case. You have a warrior on your hands. Coach’s job is to STFU about psychology and provide substantive guidance. Let the horse run!
Kid wants to make “Dad” happy. “Dad” is in quotes because it can be Mom, Uncle, appointed guardian, or whoever, but the line to walk is thin here and a good coach has to poke around in their psyche. Is there an inherent desire to go along with pleasing someone they love? There’s no telling until you start poking and whatever the answer is, the coach’s job is to relay that information honestly to the parents. We pray that the honest truth isn’t reviled. We will always put truth above keeping a client.
Methodologically, we’re not talking about Chef David’s treatment of Carmy in the Bear. But, there’s not everything wrong in that story arc. The error was in Chef David becoming the adversity. The correct approach is mentor-mentee collaborative, but make no mistake: the harshness of reality is Chef David’s reference point and that is unchanging.
Anyone else notice the irony of the music in the background of that scene? Otis Redding singing, “I want you to be by my side.” Brilliant television.
For the older heads, here’s another bit of pop culture perfection: The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mei in Kill Bill. Remove the ultra-violence of Quentin Tarantino and you have a danged good analogy for the ideal coach-player relationship. It’s stern, but there’s purpose-driven love behind it all.