More Heads for the Many Hats
New parents quickly learn that parenting isn’t just a whole new job–it’s several new jobs. Very naturally, we adapt to meet the needs of our children. However, in the process of taking on everything that our child needs—chef, disciplinarian, field medic, driver, scheduler, etc.—we also take on the job of a manager.
The manager role corrals specialists for areas of particular need and expertise. Our kids can turn to their grandparents for love that’s a bit different than what mom or dad can offer. They go to school, church, and doctor’s appointments where we entrust outsiders to improve our children’s lives with expertise that in its totality is beyond what we can acquire in a single lifetime.
As manager, we are delegating, but maintain a watchful eye, ensuring that the experts are attentive and accurately accounting for our child’s needs. In this, we’re performing an auditing function.
When it comes to sports though, we sometimes fall prey to a very understandable confusion of functions. Because it’s fun, because we’ve been players ourselves, because we started off as our child’s first coach in the back yard… for whatever reason, we tend to muddle our roles and attempt to be both manager and expert.
What we’ll work on together is a formula that makes the best of both worlds possible without you having to take on conflicting functions. This is an extension of the idea discussed in Let’s Keep Catch Time Sacred.
When you find a coach you trust, you can treat him like a doctor or professor. If your player is frustrated by a lesson, for example, you are his champion, asking to learn more about what frustrated him and then helping him navigate the issue. This is an experience which can increase your bond with your child.
Having a third party coach enables you to assume this non-coach role where you and your child are on the same team navigating your child’s experience. This positive experience lays the foundation for the player/child - parent bond throughout their days as an athlete. In other words, eventually, you won’t be able to be their coach any longer anyway, so if you start building this relationship early, you’re ahead of the curve.
Key Takeaways – Build Your Village Wisely
You are the manager, not the universal expert: Parenting requires wearing many hats, but trying to master them all (especially technical ones like advanced coaching) leads to overload and role confusion.
Delegation strengthens bonds: A trusted outside coach frees you to be fully “Dad” or “Mom” during catch time, car rides, and emotional support—turning potential conflict into teamwork.
Audit, don’t micromanage: Maintain oversight and advocate for your child. The best specialists will embrace you playing this role and possess the confidence to incorporate your feedback on behalf of your child in a constructive manner. This mirrors how we entrust doctors, teachers, and others in non-sports areas.
Start early for long-term wins: Building the parent-as-champion dynamic now creates a foundation that lasts well beyond the early playing years when you were the backyard and/or Little League coach. Pro tip: Professional coaches embrace this dynamic with their own children when they find other professional coaches that are the right fit!
The village multiplies impact: One capable coach (or specialist) multiplies what you can provide without burning you out—ultimately benefiting your child’s development, confidence, and your relationship.
The goal isn’t less involvement—it’s smarter involvement. You remain the irreplaceable central voice in your child’s life while giving them access to excellence in every domain. That’s how we raise resilient, self-coaching athletes, and maintain the deep parent-child connection that matters most.